Morning, Glory!

Late in the summer, flowers start to droop their little faces and their greens begin their tired, dry descent down to the ground as hot weather drains them.

But we have hearty, faithful friends that take over our front
porch during this hot season and they remind us how blessed we are. They come to camp out every summer and don't require a single thing from us... no blankes, no food, no water. The best kind of house guest! They quietly make make themselves comfy and set out the most glorious feast for our eyes with no requirements from their host family.

Our morning glories have been living on H street just as
long as we have. We moved in during early April 3 years ago... we planted then in early May the same year. And they always come back... no matter how busy we are or how much we sit and admire them. They always give us a smile as we take the kids out to play or rush past them to the car. They don't care much what we are doing, for they are doing just fine.

They also camp out with the neighbors now too, although
I'm not so sure they are as welcome at their homes (giggle) as they are in ours. These beauties are nothing if they are not prolific... and their family reunion each summer has grown beyond the small borders of our yard to the neighbors on each side. Whoops! Well, we like to share.

5th grade, here she comes!

Today is my least favorite day of the year.


Don just left, headed for BWI with 2 suitcases, 2 carry-ons and my precious Mary Grace. I hate this day as much as I love the day in May when she arrives once school is out. MG starts school, the 5th grade, next Thursday. How can it be that my 1st baby girl is starting 5th grade? My, how time does fly.

She's headed back south after a nice full summer of fun. She left here with knitting on her lap... I'm so proud of her having the patience to learn and for sticking with it. She will never forget her newest art. And she may never put it down for that matter. This girl has the bug for knitting. I owe that to my dear friend Margie. She's going with a yarn stash that even I'm jealous of, again courtesy of Margie, and a brand new 29" #7 circular needle. She picked it out at AC Moore yesterday, telling me it would give her more flexibity to knit small projects, or larger projects in-the-round. It makes me beam with pride to hear her rattle off knitting jargon and anticipate that she will need that flexibility. She's such cool kid.

She's also headed back with a very fun new binder/satchel that we got yesterday at Target. We went out to lunch with girlfriends and their children. Then they also went along with us to Target for the hunt. We'd hoped to find an obnoxiously sparkly and very girly binder, but Target didn't have anything quite over the top. But MG managed to pick out a tasteful and VERY practical lipstick-pink double binder with a handle and strap option for carrying it. We picked up lots of add-ons too, including a silver sequined pencil compartment that hooks into the binder. I'm totally jealous. I always wanted some thing so cool. Of course we filled the pockets with new gel pins, colored pencils and mini-markers. It was quite the scene actually, me and my two girlfriends TELLING her what she needed. We were totally picking out what WE'D want if WE were still 10 years old. We were so puzzled why MG wouldn't go our way, then we all suddenly realized that we wanted her to have what we wanted. We're all still girls at heart, I suppose. Always will be.

So she's off. Another summer done. Another moment of her childhood X'ed off the little chalkboard I carry around in my heart. Sadness consumes me. I'd like to go to bed and cover my head up for the rest of the day. But these other little busy bees need me. So off I go to mommy the two I'm blessed to be with around the entire calendar. Today, despite my qualms with letting my big one go south once again, is just one more day in the life of my children. And another chance for me to help my children grow and learn and become strong little people.

Thanks to everyone who made this summer so special to my girly... and to those of you who are my crutches. I certainly couldn't do anything without your love and support.

Gimme a break! Gimme a break!

Time to put the breaks on and sit back and re-evaluate again. I'm going to say, "whooooaa nelly" to my local playgroup, because honestly, I'm all played out. All thought out. All debated out. All worn out. While we can't leave his dear friends, I need to rest my weary head for a while.

The fall will soon be here and our schedule is going to be turned upside down anyway. Andrew will be in pre-school 3 mornings a week. I'm considering toddler gym again and my dear friend, L, reeeealllly wants me to join her at MOPS every other Tuesday. Its at a church close by and its for moms, where moms do activities and attend talks together while the children have surprised playtime with each other. Mommies play. Children play. Sounds good. Ahhhh. Time to shift gears.

Ears

Andrew has an ear infection. He's been sticking his head under the tub spout for fun during bathtime and now his eustation tubes are infected. The eardrums are fine. Crazy boy.

He told me this morning that his ear was sunburned, but I didn't think anything of it. Then this afternoon I heard him tell MG that his ears hurt down deep in the holes. Hello! That got mommy's attention. So I called the doc and we were seen right away.So now he's on Zithromax. Argh

Participating in a new drug study

Mom's doctors have signed her up for a new medical study for a cancer chemotherapy drug. Its still in the development stages, so she is participating in a blind study. She received her first part of it last Wednesday and then another one yesterday. She'll have several rounds of this sort of double-teamed series and then they will re-evaluate.

There is a possibility she might be receiving the placebo. If her numbers aren't coming down after a few weeks, the docs can contact the research company and ask for them to switch her to the actual drugs. I guess this is the process that must be followed, since its not an FDA approved pharmaceutical yet. The good news is that after the first two times going, she's had some side effects. So we are praying that it means she's getting the drugs and not the placebo. She had some shortness of breath, elevated BP and nausea... so we hope those icky things mean good things in the long run.

Mommy Wars

Why are women so hard on each other? I am one... and I'm totally guilty of it. But why is it this way?

I travel in several mommy circles, in person and online, and there always seems to be some drama going on. What is it that keeps us stirred up? Just recently I've seen people take their toys and go home over the darndest things. Peanut butter, the raging breast feeding vs. forumla debate, who posts more often and contributes more to the group, junk food at playdates, moms having babies via Csection being treated as second class mommies.

Ugh.

I used to say that I hated working with women because they are so emotional and hormonal. And its just always true. Men were, at the very least, predictable. Even if you can't count on them to do the best job... you know they will shut up and work.

Isn't it hard enough work to be a parent and a wife? You have to be right all of the time too? Sigh.

My little cozy

Yay, my yarn is here for my French Market Bag and I wanted to do a test felt of the yarn. Instead of just doing a swatch, my friend K suggested that I do a little needle cozy. She had done a few from patterns in Cat Bordi's book, Second Treasury of Magical Knitting so I gave it a go. I adore the way it turned out! So much so that I had trouble taking the needles out of the cozy to start my bag! Hahaha!!

Happy Birthday, my baby girl!

Ahhh... Abi is one. Its exciting and sad all wrapped up together. I'm so glad to see her happy and growing so healthy. But watching each day of her infancy tick away was enough to make me teary-eyed. Now she's a toddler and learning new things every day. This girly is just not happy to stay the same and revel in the familiar. She wants to know more and do more and strive for new things.

Mommy is not ready. But I don't think I have much of a choice in the matter!

Persistance

This is NOT funny! This little almost-one-year-old has an iron will. I can't count how many things I've taken her off the stairs today!

She is quite the contrast to her big brother, Cautious Andrew, who didn't attempt the stairs until he knew he could walk up and down them safely at 18 months old.

Argggghhhhh!!!!

Current knits on the needle

I've got two things going right now, and one new knit I'll be starting next week. I'm so excited!

First, I've been working on this dress for Abi. Its 100% cotton, for fall. I just love it! I'm about 60% done now. After this 2nd set of polka dots, I'll knit up to the bodice. I can't wait to see her in it! I hope to be done with it by the middle of September. We shall see. Knitting is quite the challenge, with 3 kiddos on my heels.

I also have just started this fun and chunky yet skinny scarf for Mary Grace. Can you believe its only 4 stitches cast on? My girlfriend, M, gave me the yarn to use for something for MG. Its harder to work with that I anticipated, so I am knitting it together with this aqua cotton (Sugar n Cream) and its going much smoother.

Next week, our knitting circle is going to start this French Market Bag as a knit-a-long. I can't wait! I'm picking out colors as we speak, but I can decide between shades of teal, orange, perwinkle or raspberry. Maybe one of each by the time I'm done? I mean, who can't use more than one market bag?!?! It will give me several new skills to master... knitting in the round on double pointed needles, felting and learning the kitchener stitch for seams.

Abi's walking!

CLICK HERE to see some of Abi's first steps. She started walking today! Hooray! Just a few weeks before her first birthday.

Oh, I can hardly believe my last baby is walking!

Nana News

After several months of rocking along rather nicely, mom had some bad news yesterday.

About a month ago she has a second pleurodesis done after being admitted to the hospital for the procedure. It went very well and she was only in the hospital for 4 days. Her chest xrays since then have been promising, with no changes. Meaning the fluid didn't seem to be building back up.

Last week, after a few weeks of feeling a bit blue, she contacted the oncologists office for some tests and they sent her in for some bloodwork, including a CA125, the marker for ovarian cells within your body. The last test just over a month ago, brought back the results of 68. But last week's test revealed an elevated number of 331.

We are all crushed with this news. You can imagine the range of emotions mom is dealing with. And there is just no outlet for her. Other than tears. And they just don't wash this away.

Please continue to pray for my sweet mama. We expect another round of tests, including a CT to look into the cause of the elevation. Its been since March that she's had any chemotherapy. Pray for her strength to find out what the next step of this year long battle will be. Pray for healing and comfort. Just please pray.

One bright note, which I'm so thankful for... a good friend called yesterday to offer them a trip to the Alabama coast, starting this weekend. They are going to gladly take them up on their offer. Pray that they can squeeze it in between the tests and what not. Mom REALLY needs to get her toes in the sugar white sands of Gulf Shores. I wish I could lay on the beach with her and drink frozen daiquiris.

I love my family

My little nest of 5 I mean. And I'm not talking about the normal husband to wife and mom to kid sort of love. I mean I love how we all fit together. Like a little 5 piece puzzle, snapping into place to complete it. How we have so much fun together. How funny and goofy we are. How we're silly and giggle. How we have such an array of personalities and quirks within the 5 of us. I love how our children accept us, as parents, and don't question our rules (not that they always follow them). I love our routines and that they all know what to expect out of each day and how excited they get over the smallest things sometimes.

I just love the wholeness we share together. I love how Andrew dotes on MG. How MG just rolls her eyes when Andrew is being THREE. How Andrew is so cautious with small toys and not leaving them on the floor because Abi picks them up. How Abi cries for MG to stop and pick her up. I love looking at the 3 of them in the back of the car, all lined up and eager to go. And yes, even when they are poking and pulling at each other I snicker under my breath.

I love how Don fathers them. I love how he's so anal and meticulous about every little thing, even though it does drive me up a tree sometimes. Its because he wants the best for them always. I love how he gets down in the floor and lets them crawl all over him. How he naps with Andrew on his chest. How Abi cries for him if she hears for him in another part of the house.

I just love the whole little picture of our home and family. The noise, the mess, the smells, the exhaustion. I love it all.

Road Trip!

My girlfriend, K, snapped this picture when we were in the car a couple weeks back. She is a super star... she volunteered to ride with me and MG back down to Tennessee after spring break was done. It was SO nice to have someone in the car for the trip back. Its usually very somber for me, having to drop my big girl off then be alone in the car for 10 hours. But this go around, I had company. It was priceless, the things we shared on I-81. She is a treasure!

Anyway.... I adore this picture. MG is a ham as always. I love every single freckle on that sweet face. We had a blast! It was the goofiest weather ever. Sun, rain, snow, sun, sleet, fog. Nuts! The weather in the mountains during a front can do that I suppose. Crazy!

Birthday Bagel

Happy 36th birthday to me!

I'm celebrating my birthday today. And a lot of other things... over a lightly toasted, cathartic everything bagel and my yummy cuppa coffee. Life has been tough lately. I've had some personal struggles and had been feeling pretty yucky about myself. Its been 6 years since I've had such gray skies. But. God is good. Sometimes its not so fun how He pulls the rug out from under you. Yet He knows when you need it.

I had managed to take the keys from Him again. I was winding my way down my own path, having a great old time. When the car started crashing I just couldn't figure out why. But now, that the mess is cleaned up, I can clearly see that I'd put some things between us. He doesn't like that so much.

So, Happy Birthday Me! Its a sunny day!

Mom update

There have been a few new developments with mom this week. First of all, the Oncologist worked out a plan for a second series of treatments. Mom will receive 2 more chemotheraphys, starting with this coming Wednesday, then they will reassess, once more. While the news about the cancer still being present was a hard pill to swallow, there was an encouraging development with her CA125. The last one done with the chemo 6 weeks ago was still hovering around the 70 mark. Last week's sample came back with a result of 54. That is very encouraging news. The goal is 35. We are praying that these next two chemo series really wallop those stubborn cells.

Today, mom found out some very good news for me. She had the BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene susceptibility test done. They drew bloodwork about 6 weeks ago and sent it off to some special lab somewhere. It checks those two specific genes, which are mutated IF you are a carrier of the inherited version of Ovarian Cancer.

Mom was negative for both. This is a huge relief for her. It doesn't effect her illness or treatment one bit. But what it means is that she can not "give" me or any of her grand daughters the increased likelihood for getting ovarian cancer. Since my grandmother also had ovarian cancer (her mom) we were really thinking it might be a family thing.

Mom was filled with positive emotion telling me how happy she is that she hasn't messed things up for us. I told her even if she carried it it would be her fault, but I know what she means. She realizes she can't change things for herself, but is so happy to know that she hasn't passed on an illness to me and the 3 grand daughters in our family.

Today was a good day for her. And for me!

Sickos!

Sleeping late, going to bed early, warm cups of tea, naps on the sofa. Sounds good right? But not when its all in the honor of our house guest, Mr. Nasty Virus.

Yuck! This house is full of sickos. With the exception of Abi so far, the rest of us are battling a booger of a germ! It started with Andrew on Sunday and he's had 5 days of very high fever, no appetite, lethargy and a terrible cough. The doc diagnosed him with acute bronchitis. Don started with it on Monday, then me on Tuesday night. I'm in the middle of the worst of it now, while Don and Andrew are in the home stretch. If Abi makes it out of this healthy it truly will be a miracle.

My goal is to get this nastiness out of here by tomorrow around midnight, because Mary Grace will be arriving for Spring Break. And I don't want her precious week here to be filled with ickies! We have things to do and fun to be had! How I'm going to do that is unclear, but I'm going to do my best!

Keep us in your prayers!

Ahhhhh.... fresh air!

Its 7:46am and 60 degrees! In Pennsylvania no less! Weeee! Oh, you just gotta love the early signs of spring. I know this day is a gift, and we have more cold before we get real spring, but whew. What a blessing.

I just opened doors and windows up to air the house out. This is one of my favorite days each year. The day we can turn off the heat for a whole day and let the breeze stir. It does a body good! The crocus bulbs are opening up, the daffodils greens are peeping up an inch or two. Ahhhh indeed!

We will definitely be taking a walk to the park today. Andrew will have that outside kid smell by the time daddy comes home from work. Oh, the scrubbing he'll need tonight. I can't wait to sit Abi on a blanket and put a sun hat on her little head.

Stubborn Cells

Mom has had a not-so-great week. Physically, she's enjoying a break from the chemo and has been doing some fun things, getting out to auctions and listing some things for sale on Ebay. However, on Monday she had the fluid in her chest drawn off, which turned out to be quite a lot. It is an uncomfortable procedure, and tired her out, but afterwards she did notice the ability to breathe a bit better. The fluid had been pressing on her lungs again and they were partially collapsed. Its amazing that a person can walk around and function with over a gallon of fluid pressing on them. But after a lazy day at home, she was feeling ok again.

Yesterday, she got results back from the testing of the fluid. There are still cancer cells. We totally expected that news, since her CA125 level is not reduced as much as he doctors wanted at this point. But its still a big blow. However, we are OF COURSE still praying for a miracle. God is so good and we are just totally giving this over to Him. Mom has a wonderful sense of comfort in God through her journey with this illness. Her sense of calm amazes me.

Next week she will see her Oncologist again to see what the next step in this fight will be. Onward! With weapons drawn! Come on you pray warriors!!!

This just in from Andrew: Pinecones

Pinecones are squash that live on trees. Who knew??

We were walking home from preschool today and Andrew saw a pinecone and picked it up. It was soaking wet so he threw it right back down and asked, with a look of concern, what it was. I showed him some on the pine tree and explained that they are the seeds for the pine tree. He was quiet a minute and said that pinecones are squash that live on trees. Now it all makes perfect sense. At least it does to him.

Calling for Prayers

Mom sees the oncologist this morning to hear her CT results from the scan she had done 2 weeks ago. Her bloodwork yesterday still has the CA125 up around 70, so the cancer is definitely not into remission. The doctor will tell her if they found any more masses and how things look in general. This may be a very bad day for her. Sounds like another round of chemo is in order, possibly even starting today.

Your prayers are what she needs! Please post here to show her you are thinking about her!

~*~*~UPDATE!!~*~*~
Just heard from dad a bit ago... the news is better than expected! The CT did not detect anything new in her abdomen. So that's great! There is some fluid still around her lungs, which they will draw off next week and send it for testing/pathology. She's been going without the oxygen a good bit now and they did a O2 saturation test and it came up at 98%, which is basically normal. That's a blessing, not dragging that tank around!

So basically she's on hold. They will do some checking and testing, but right now NO CHEMO! Probably some in the future but not right now. That made her VERY happy! And makes me VERY HAPPY!

That's my peanut butter dammit!

OK, just to put your mind at ease, that's not normal language for our household, but that is exactly what came out of Andrew's mouth last night. "Dad, that's my peanut butter dammit."

Andrew was just playing with word sounds, as in sammich = dammit but it caught us by surprise as I'm sure you can imagine. Hearing him hoot in the kitchen from the top of his lungs, "peanut butter dammit" over and over. Don quizzed him on what it meant and he pointed to his sandwich. He asked if he'd heard that word before and he said no.

So he went about his merry way, calling out "that's my peanut butter dammit!" So as Don walked out of the kitchen he called back, "then eat your peanut butter, dammit!"

I had tears of laughter as I heard the exchange. Too funny.

One less iron in the fire

Things have been so busy for me lately. I felt stressed asking Don to watch the kids too often in the evenings and I don't' like to be away from the family more than once every week or so. So I made a change tonight and though I'm glad I did it, I feel a bit guilty about it. But I think I'll get over that part of it pretty quickly.

I resigned as the chairperson of our church's hospitality committee... actually resigned from the committee altogether. I guess I was just burned out with it... I've been doing it for 2 years and we always do the same events over and over each year. I had been getting slower and slower with getting meeting minutes done, and not making arrangements until the last minute. My heart just was not in it. I decided its not fair to the other members of the committee or to the church for me to be so blah about it. Plus I barely make Sunday morning services right now because Abi has a long morning nap and we stay home while Don and Andrew go to church. So I resigned.

So that's one thing I can mark off my list. But that one thing marks off about 3 days away from the house in the evening or weekend days per month. What a relief. I think this one simple change is going to de-stress me a great deal. It was just looming in the back of my mind all of the time and I felt frustrated by all the little details of it.

Sometimes its SO VERY HARD for me to make these decisions, but I already feel a HUGE weight lifted off of me. As my best friend E says, SIMPLIFY!

"Here's a boogey for you mom"

Great. Andrew has mastered the art of picking. Thankfully he does bring them to me for disposal instead of consuming them, right?

Reminder to self: Spring is coming.

Nascar Nextel Cup 2006

Zoom zoom! Tomorrow is the day we've been waiting on since Novemeber. Well some of us anyway. NASCAR gets underway for the 2006 season tomorrow in Daytona. Yeah Baby!


Catch it on NBC this Sunday, at 1:30 p.m.

Of course I'm rooting for Jeff and would love a repeat of his season opening win at Daytona in 2005. But I'm also a fan of Mikey and DJ. I am hoping for a fun and colorful season, but mostly for a safe one!

Who do these kids think I am?

Their mother?

Whew. Everybody has needs don't they? No matter what time of the day. Since going to bed last night, my children needed me at 1am, 5:15am, 5:50am, and finally at 6:08am, "my belly is hungry for some applesauce!"

We don't often have rough nights with our children. But sometimes these kids remind me they are just that. Kids. Chalk 1am and 5:50 am up to Abi. The 1am is rare for her... can't even remember the last time we were up other than an early morning bottle. 5:15am belongs to Andrew. He was calling out that his towel was messy. No clue.... guess he was dreaming. Somehow I managed to convince him it was not time to get up for the day, though I'm not sure if he ever went back to sleep between then and when he announced to the world at 6:08am that his belly was hungry for applesauce.

The kicker? I had just fed Abi a bottle and managed to sneak her back down from that 5:50am feeding and had crawled back in my toast bed at 6:06am thinking... "ahhh, we can all sleep in." Then I was ROBBED by applesauce boy. Robbed I tell ya!

But the real issue here? I could have easily gone to bed before midnight, when I did. But noooooo, I was all caught up in "me time" after the kiddos went down so great last night. So really its all my fault. That will teach me to have needs.

Now you'd think I sat down and whipped this post out in just a few minutes. But since I started typing I've made coffee, changed one diaper, poured a cup of milk, poured a cup of coffee, gotten socks on a boy's feet, found the Bob the Builder toys, put on a Bob the Builder video, made a slice of toast to chase that little boy's applesauce, nuked my cold cup of coffee, eaten a piece of peanutbutter toast, snapped Andrew into his new booster for the car to check for strap fit (on his insistence, not mine), removed him from the seat, changed a second diaper, refilled a cup of milk and went for my first potty break of the day. Oh and I poured my second cup of coffee, which I'm guzzling as I proof read. Now mind you, I'm not complaining... tis good to be employed. I am thankful that I have some little someones to get out of bed for each and every day. I wonder what my biggest girly needs from her mom today.

Needs. Everybody's got em'. My biggest need.... go to bed earlier!!!!

(On to cup number 3 by the time I sent this post.)

Sugar

"I love you, Abi, but you look like 10 pounds of sugar poured into a 5 pound bag." This from my friend, E, about my tubba Abi. Click to to enlarge the picture and see more!

Abi is doing super! So super in fact she's up to 21 pounds at 6 months! And 29.25" long! She's off the charts on both measurements. She was a the doctor's last week for her well baby and back today for her immunizations. We put those off a week since she'd had some fever from a cold earlier last week. She is sitting now on her own, for a little while. Busy busy!

She's doing great! Just getting too big, too fast! Slow down girly!

No comment!

OK, my apologies! How silly of me. Somehow I managed to turn on "moderate comments" and kept your lovely comments from showing over the last 20 or so posts. I turned it off and now you should be able to comment. I'm so glad a friend mentioned she was having troubles, or I'd probably never have knows. I thought I must not be very interesting lately!!

Snowy Landscape

So yesterday we were driving along out enjoying the snowy landscape after a big wallop of snow from a Noreaster and I glanced over as we are headed out of our little town at the farm down in the dip across from a lovely little covered bridge. I looked over because I know there is a lovely little stream there and standing by a tree, in all its snowy delight is a yak. Yeah. A yak! A yak in Mtown.

You know you just don't wake up in the morning and puzzle to yourself while brushing your teeth, "I wonder if I'll see a yak today?" or "When was the last time I saw a yak?" I think its pretty cool. I don't have a mental list of things I want to notice accidentally in my life, but IF I did... yak would definitely be on there. I'd be pulling out my list and marking a line through yak.

Yaks are known for their milk right? This family seems fairly crunchy, those natural, live off the land kind if I had to take a guess. They have a couple goats and cows too. But its not a big farm that is producing things in large quantities. They are on a hillside with their own garden and a barn lot big enough for just a few animals. Sounds like heaven to me. Except for the hill.

Anyway. A yak for crying out loud!

Happy Heiny

Some very good mommy friends of mine have talked about cloth diapering on and off over the last few years and I knew it would never be for me. Until I actually saw one. E and C recently made the move to cloth diapering their smallest babies. Each of them had done it in the past with their other children, but didn't start the little ones off in cloth this time. I was very doubtful about it. That was until I saw how far cloth diapering had come since the dark ages. And did some reading online and discovered that it could save us several thousand dollars.

E lent me a couple to try and Don and I fell in love with the idea right away. I have slowly built my stash of fun, new cloth diapers over the last month and we are now cloth diapering Abi exclusively. And LOVING it. We have not purchased a disposable diaper for her since before Christmas. What a blessing!!

Say Cheese!!

After being on single parent duty for 5 days straight, Don gave me the day off yesterday and I went over to a girlfriend's for a marathon scrapbooking session. I wanted to share this video he took while I was away. Click the link:Say Cheese!

Nana's Update

Mom is hanging in there these days. Her last chemo, her 6th and last in this (and hopefully only) series, really through her for a loop-de-loop. And dad too I think. It was a pretty hard week for them both, but mom especially as she was really sick for several days. Probably the worst she's felt since late summer at the onset of the ovarian cancer.

Thankfully, she is feeling better now that the drugs are leaving her body again. They have ventured out a bit lately, even going over to the church for a note writing session to church members who have not been to church in a while. I'm so glad that she feels up to these things. It puts a sunshine in her voice that I don't hear over the phone when she's feeling icky.

She had a CT on the 8th of February and is now waiting for results when she sees her pulmonologist next week. They are looking for masses or any sign that the cancer is still lingering. Her CA125 numbers are not as low as the doctors were shooting for so there is a fairly good possibility there is more chemotherapy on the horizon for her. Not what we want, but if that is what will keep the cancer reducing and send it to remission, Mom is ready for that.

I appreciate all of you who have kept up with her and who have kept those prayers going up daily. It means the world to us and make her day to day struggles a bit easier. You are a blessing!

How does it happen?

Baaaack!
Am I THAT busy that I can't post a few blog entries every few days? I can't believe its been since before Christmas that I last made an entry. I sit down and thing, yeah, I need to update, then a million other things happen with the children (bottles, diapers, giggles, rolls, playtime with Andrew, lunch... you know the drill) before I bounce through my online corner of the world and before I know it, the opportunity is gone again.

Well no more! I have lots to tell you about, so keep your eyes peeled over the next few days. Look for info about fluff and stash, chix with stix and an update on Nana.

We are all very well here. Don has just returned from his first ever business trip and was surprised at just how busy those trips can be... breakfast meetings, lunch meetings, dinner meetings and a million meetings in between meal meetings. He covered a large part of South Carolina and southern North Carolina in the last six days. The children we SO very glad to see daddy last night. He was the focus of their attention all evening. At one point he was walking around the house with Andrew on his right hip and Abi in his left arm. It really made me smile that our children love their daddy so. And that he takes the time to stop and smell their little heads. They will be young for such a minute time in our lives. We have to treasure each second.

A scrappy kind of day...
Today is an exciting day for me. After being "on duty" with the kids for 6 days round the clock, I'm going to scrapbook with a friend and her mom today all day long. A marathon crop of sorts. I can't wait! My friend, K, is teaching me SO much about scrapbooking. She has all the cool tool and goodies to work with and her mom is a scrapbooking genius! I can't wait to work with these two fine gals today!

Expecting a wallop.
Over the next 24-36 hours we are expecting a fair sized snow. We have had a strange winter. Lots of snow in December, warm and no snow in January. Now its February and finally winter again. My itchy skin tells me so. I'll be glad to see some flakes today. Its the best part of living in the north and enduring cold winters... the flakes!!

Shop Til They Drop

Sometimes, your mom just wears you right out.
Click to enlarge.

Mom's 4th chemo

Health Update...
Mom had her 4th chemotherapy this week on Thursday. Before treatment, she had an appointment with her oncologist. He gave her a good report that the CA125 is drastically down to just below 100. Quite a decrease since the onset of this cancer. He could feel no masses so all is looking really well!

She has been keeping herself pretty busy, working a bit around the house now. She's is just bored to tears, bless her heart. She's always been an on the go type (maybe that is where I get it from) so being down for 4 months now is really wearing on her. She's been getting ready for our visit, and doing little Christmas projects. Christmas will have a new and special significance this year. Blessings abound. I can't wait until we get there on Thursday night.

Big girly...
Mary Grace will arrive at Mom's a day ahead of us. She is out of school for the holiday break starting after a half day on Tuesday. On Wednesday her dad will drive her up and she'll get to spend the night and have some time with Nana and Papaw. I worry that mom's illness might hit her hard. She'll be 10 in just a few weeks so she's big enough to understand the pain mom is in and the long term possibilities. I've explained the oxygen tank and tubes, as well as about mom loosing her hair. But I'm sure seeing it in person will be startling.

The best part about it all is that we will be TOGETHER. My brother and his family will be there on Friday and we'll celebrate together. I can't wait to see his kiddos... its been waaaaay to long.

Christmas Fun

Our playgroup enjoyed our second annual Christmas party last night. We gathered at a local recreation center for a place large enough. Our group has really grown over the last 3 years. With more than 40 families, we are quite the motley crew. They are a wonderful and diverse group of people who I am blessed to know.

The children played games and ran around while they waited for a visit from Santa and as the moms assembled the covered dish dinner. We enjoyed a feast of ham, meatballs, casseroles, veggies, pastas, finger foods and desserts to boot! Once dinner was done, the children played more and each of them built a lovely gingerbread house of graham crackers, icing and candies. They were oh so lovely. You can see Andrew is showing off his house... click to enlarge and see more.

Breakfast and Shopping in Hershey

Today I met up in Hershey, PA with two of my girlfriends I met online while pregnant with Andrew. Sara is from Pittsburgh and I've had the joy of seeing her 4 times now. Twice for weekend gatherings in Philly and Minneapolis, once here in our home while they visited family close by and yesterday in Hershey. I met Melissa for the first time in person yesterday, but I've known her just as long as Sara. Melissa just moved, this past summer, from Colorado to the outskirts of Baltimore. I'm so thankful that she is closer so we can possibly have more meet ups!

This group of gals, about 17 of us, has grown close over the last 3 and a half years, since we all found out we were pregnant and due in October of 2002. They have been such a tremendous support to me in good times and trials. I am so blessed to know each and every one of them.

Sara, Melissa and I met up at Bob Evans for a yummy hot breakfast, then we headed to the Outlets and Hershey. We slowly walked the shops, checking out sales and Christmas goodies searching for ideas for gift giving. There is a wonderful scrapbooking store there called, Times To Remember. Amazing stuff! I scrapbook and have shopped for things before, but it was my first time to see a store just for scrapbooking. I was blown away! I'll definitely have to go back and spend some serious time checking it out once Abi is older and I can get back to scrapping.

It was a lovely day. The snow just glistened in the sun and we hardly noticed the winter weather with the warmth shared between the three of us.

A tub full of baby

Both Andrew and Abi had checkups this week with the doctor. Both are doing super, growing in to healthy and happy children. Abi is out pacing Andrew, however. At 4 months, she weighs 17 lbs, 5 oz. She received 3 shots unfortunately. But she handled them like a champ! The doctor said she is beautiful and perfect. He knows just what to tell a mama! Hehee! Click to enlarge and see more.

At 3 years, Andrew is 30 lbs. He is 28 inches tall. The doctor says he had the healthiest body type... long and lean. He's not worried about Andrew's picky eating habits. He says its normal and just fine. His eating will blossom when he's ready. Andrew was hysterical at the appointment. We'd gotten new sneakers the day before, Converse All-Stars. He made sure the nurse saw his "cool shoes." And when the doctor had been in the room chatting with us a bit, and not started the exam, he said, "hey, you have to check me!" He was ready long before Dr. Luken was. What a ham.

Beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Over the last week we've been putting up Christmas decorations in our home. Friday night after the kids were in bed, Don put the tree together but we didn't decorate it. We saved that for Saturday to do with the children. In the early morning, when Andrew came down the stairs and saw the tree waiting for him, he told us, "when we are finished decorating it, daddy will get a ladder and put a star on the top!" That is so precious... except WE DIDN'T HAVE A STAR!

Of course we had to have one. After lunch we all loaded up and headed to Target. With some searching, we found the perfect silver star for the top of our tree. Its not too "Las Vegas." No lights or blinkies. Just a simple silver star. When Don placed it on top of the tree, on the ladder of course, with Andrew in his arms they both had the biggest smiles. It was a wonderful moment we will all remember.

Andrew was a huge help with the lights, as you can see. He was excited about every ornament we pulled out of the boxes and announced to the household the name of each one. It was such an enjoyable family day. Click the picture to enlarge and see a few more.

Andrew-ism: King of Reindeer

Tonight, in the car, I was singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer for the children. I remember singing Christmas songs in the car during the holidays when I was growing up. We always sang in the car for that matter... I'll have to post the "Dead Skunk" song sometime. But that's another story. I

Anyway. I want my children to have similar special memories of holidays songs with the family... looking at Christmas lights. All the goodies that go with the season. I was singing Rudolph and Andrew was singing along, but he makes up his own words. After Rudolph I moved on to Hark the Herald Angels Sing, and Andrew stayed with Rudolph but tossed in a little of what I was singing. What resulted was a lyric that went something like, "The king of reindeer will clean you off." Don was driving and just hooted! He had tears of laughter in his eyes. Meanwhile I kept on with Hark...

Each day brings something great from Andrew. A new idea, a ridiculous song, a silly sound. Check back for more Andrew-isms in the future. Some things just beg to be blogged.

Thankful

thank·ful
Pronunciation: 'tha[ng]k-f&l
Function: adjective
1 : conscious of benefit received
2 : expressive of thanks
3 : well pleased : GLAD
- thank·ful·ness noun

I am thankful for my salvation through what Jesus Christ did on the cross for me.

I am thankful for my husband. I waited a long time to be loved like he loves me. I can't even wrap my brain around what Don feels for me. There are no words for it.

I am thankful for my children. Their health and the incredible way they fulfill my life. That they are what wakes me up in the morning and what end my long and loving days.

I am thankful for my mother. All that she has done for me as a child and woman to show me great happiness. Her strength and love. For the healing that she is receiving and for God's grace in giving her the will to fight her cancer. And for my father, how he provided for us and how he is shouldering all of the weight of running the household right now. He is stronger than I realized.

I am thankful for all of my family, those related by blood and by marriage. For how they love and pray for us and look forward to seeing us as often as they can. And for those in my first marriage, though I don't see them now, they still mean the world to me. And how they love and help care for my precious MG is above and beyond what most people would consider convenient.

I am thankful for my best friend. How she knows me better than I know myself. For her kind and giving spirit. I've never met anyone else like her. What an incredible mother she is to her own children. For what a great role model she is for me.

I am thankful for all of my mommy friends. I would not be the woman I am because of the support network I have with my local playgroup and my online girlfriends.

Grateful

What I Thought I Wanted
by Sara Groves

Tuxedo in the closet, gold band in a box
Two days from the altar she went and called the whole thing off
What he thought he wanted, what he got instead
Leaves him broken and grateful

I passed understanding a long, long time ago
And the simple home of systems and answers we all know
What I thought I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and somehow peaceful

I keep wanting you to be fair
But that’s not what you said
I want certain answers to these prayers
But that’s not what you said

When I get to heaven I’m gonna go find Job
I want to ask a few hard questions,
I want to know what he knows
About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
How to be broken and faithful

What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted

Staring in the water like Esop's foolish dog
I can’t help but reflect on what it was I almost lost
What it was I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and grateful

I’m broken and grateful
I want to be broken and grateful
I want to be broken,
peaceful,
faithful,
grateful,
grateful

I want to be broken,
peaceful,
faithful,
grateful,
grateful

Its Snowing!

Its early, and just a little dusting. But it is enough to intrigue Andrew about what winter will bring. We were just peering out the front window and had a long discussion about what snow is and why this snow is not covering the grass. He's so excited for winter to come and bring "wots and wots of snow!"

I've also just been informed that he wants Spiderman snowboots. Now there is an idea for Santa Claus!

On the Road Again

I just spoke to mom. She and Dad are on their way to Birmingham for the 3rd chemotherapy treatment. There was some worry that her blood cell count would not be high enough to get this treatment because it was "fair" last week instead of "good," but the labwork came back just fine yesterday. Mom was concerned that IF she could not have chemo today it would throw her schedule off and she'd end up getting a treatment the day before we fly down for the Christmas/New Years holiday week. She wants to feel well for our visit and having it delayed by one week would have made it iffy. Thankfully that won't be the case for now. While I'd love to be there for her and nurse her back to health, giving Dad a break, I understand her need to do it without the help of 7 children in the house (my brother has 4). Hopefully her next one will go off as scheduled in middle December and she'll be feeling fine for Christmas. We would appreciate your prayers for that!

We are heading down to Alabama on the evening of December 22nd. We'll be there through New Years Day. I can't wait to see my family and share Christmas with my kiddos. Life is so precious. We'll certainly have a great deal to be thankful for this year.

38 ounces

Growth spurt?
I don't know. But whoa!... we're going to have to take out a loan to feed this chubba wubba! I remember one day Mary Grace took about 40 ounces around this age as we were approaching the time to start cereal. I wasn't eager to start with Abi, but baby cereal is way cheaper than formula!! LOL (OK, H is going to nail me on that!)

I'm so eager to see what Abi weighs. She has her 4m check up next week so we'll see. Of course that means more bad old shots. Ugh, I hate the first year and all the poking. She had a rough go at 2m with the shots. I'm praying it won't be so traumatic this time.

Made By Me

A mommy friend of mine, Kristin Martin, has started a new business. Its along the lines of Tupperware or Pampered Chef, where women gather in someone's home and buy things... but in her new and inventive spin, you actually buy your own piece of jewelry that you design and assemble.

I was so very excited when I got the invite for Kristin's inaugural party in her home and even more excited when I arrived to see the fabulous array of supplies she had to choose from. I had decided ahead of time to design and build a mother's bracelet and it was so much fun to choose my bead colors and styles, as well as the sterling accents and toggle closure. I hope to host a party for Kristin after the holidays are over with to spice up the cold weather. I am ready to make another something lovely already!

It was nice to have a bit of ME time, as we stay at home moms refer to it. It was only about 3 hours, but it was time spent doing something for myself with no little ones to keep up with. I am so thankful that my husband is willing to give me a few hours here and there, while he cares for the children, so I don't lose Wendy in the under all of the Mommy and Wife things that must be taken care of. It was nice to see Wendy again. ;)

Basil-Miso Pesto

Ingredients
¼ cups Walnuts 12 oz Spinach, washed & stemmed
½ cups Basil leaves
3 tablespoon Olive oil
2 tablespoon Miso, any variety (we used white)

Directions
Toast walnuts in a dry skillet over medium heat, or on a baking sheet at 350F for 3 minutes. Set aside. Steam spinach until just wilted. When cool enough to handle, remove excess moisture with paper towels or a salad spinner. Blend spinach, walnuts & remaining ingredients in a food processor or blender until the mixture resembles a rough paste. Your Spinach-Miso Pesto is ready. Serve tossed with hot pasta or refrigerate in an air-tight container for up to 1 week.

The recipe yields enough for about 3 meals of tossed pasta.
"Vegetarian Gourmet" Summer, 1994
Bon appetit!

Mom Stuff

The mom report...
Mom has been feeling pretty well toward the end of this last week, after getting a rough start to it, from her chemo. The aching in her legs is pretty severe for the first week post-chemo, but has started to subside now. She doesn't think her fluid has been building up again, or at least not enough for her to notice it. She has an appointment with the pulmonologist next week to see.

She had a Bard Port surgically put in last Friday. It will help with the administering of the chemo for future treatments so that they don't have to do the "hunt-for-the-vein game" each time. She has small veins and they were having difficulty. This should be a big help.

Genetic counseling...
My doctor has been such a dear regarding mom's battle with Ovarian cancer and has been researching some things about the heredity. She recommended that mom be tested for two genetic markers, BRCA1 & BRCA2. If tests positive for them, then my chances of inheriting the probability of Ovarian cancer are greatly increased. Mom talked to her oncology team and they are setting her up for the labwork in December while we are in Alabama for the holidays. When she goes for the labwork, I am going with her and we are seeing a genetic counselor together. I am so humbled by mom's willingness to do this for me and her oncology team for their quick response to her request. It should be an interesting and enlightening day. And if nothing else is fun about it, we'll have a girls day together and we can do lunch!

3 month portraits

Abi and I had a nice day running around the county. After lunchtime we struck out to Ephrata for a baby shower of a past coworker of mine. She is due in just 7 weeks. She looked wonderful and got loads of great gifts! It was nice to see her and her family, as well as my old boss.

After the shower we headed to the mall for portraits at Picture People. Abi is smiling all over herself these days and still has her baby look so I wanted to hurry up and get them made before she turns into a toddler. I move at a snail's pace these days. Click to enlarge and see other shots!

The Cooking Co-Op Chronicles

So Monday was the big day. C and I met at E's house to cook our 4 meals for each family. E started the day out by putting one of the meals together in the crock pots early on before we arrived. That was a mexi-chicken chili. Chicken, salsa, northern beans, cheese...yum yum yum!

We got busy around noon and cooked until about 4pm. We made a basil miso pesto sauce with a tomato garlic topping for pasta. A veggie white lasagna and a delicious breakfast casserole.

There were times when all 3 babies were happy and watched us from the pallet, bouncey and swing. Then there were times when we weren't cooking and just feeding hungry bellies. Sometimes we sat and chopped while our babies slumbered in the slings on our chests. We let them set the pace and it worked like a charm. The big kiddos all played very well, up and downstairs, with some minor administrative assistance. Hehee. They were all troopers!

The most amazing news is that after E shopped on Sunday, the total was only about $90... or $30 for each family to have 4 meals. I think that's an amazing deal! We have enough, with leftovers, for the whole week actually. We won't have to cook anything else! Yahoo!

Today the girls are coming here for a playdate. I have 5 loads of clothes washed, dried and ready to fold. We will work on that together over coffee and make plans for next week's menus.

I'm giving this plan an A+... and giving C all the credit for the idea!

My Cheeky Monkey

Abi, intently watching her big brother. Click to enlarge.

Culinary Confessions

I saw another blogger do this and thought it was cute!

My Culinary Confessions....
1. I've had a George Foreman grill for 5 years and, while I think its a healthy idea, I've only used it probably 3 times.
2. I banished Don's rice steamer when we got together 6 years ago. I hate redundant appliances. That's what a stove is for, silly.
3. I haven't mopped the kitchen since before Abi was born. (gasp, my MIL is reading this)
4. My favorite chocolate chip cookies are Pillsbury Slice N Bakes... over home made even!
5. I cook with bacon fat to season veggies. Sometimes. Less since I moved to PA. But still sometimes.
6. When I first got engaged I rushed out to Sears to buy a small appliance. What did I buy?? An ice cream maker. I've used it twice since 1989.
7. I am a loud cook.
8. I use recipes about twice a year. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of cook.
9. We bought sugar this week. I'd been out of it for about 3 months.
10. I love cold hot dogs out of the package.

The Bridge of Friendship

My dear friend Mel wrote this blurb in her daily journal for our mutual friend, Patricia, who was recently diagnosed with cancer. It made me cry and I just wanted to share the sentiment...

"Cancer that word that is so scary because we don’t know where it will take those affected. We’ve all heard stories that scare us shitless. But more often these days we hear of strength and will, a sheer determination to live. This is where our P is; she has survivor written all over her. No one I know is more mentally capable of handling this. While I don’t worry about the end of the road (much) I do worry about the journey. There will be days where the river to cross seems so wide and fast moving. Other days will be meadow days, flowers, picnics, glasses of wine. Remember P, we’re the flanks of the bridge. And we love to pick flowers and drink wine."

Seymour.... Sweet Memory

A couple weeks back we dug out the infant activity gym (colorful blanket on the floor with dangly things above it) that we had purchased three years ago when Andrew was a newborn. Abi is beginning to notice her world and it was time to start stimulating her during awake times. When we pulled the toys out and put them on, the little seahorse that originally came with the gym was missing. We had always loved that little green seahorse with his pretty song. MG named him Seymour over that first Christmas after Andrew's birth. Don and I even made up a little song with his name over time.

I thought he'd gotten tossed because, by the time Andrew was mobile, he'd taken a shine to Seymour and kept his tail in his mouth all of the time. I remembered the little green guy being stained before finally disappearing during toddlerhood. So I assumed we'd just pitched him since his electronic noise maker was sewn in.

I was mopey about him being gone every time it crossed my mind over the last two weeks . But when I retrieved another bag of infant toys from the attic yesterday, there, in the bottom of the bag, was Seymour. He was mostly brown and icky, but just as happy to see me as I was him.

He sang his song for me, so pretty and just as loud as three years ago. I almost cried. I told Don we should just pitch him, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Very delicately, I performed surgery on Seymour's striped belly to remove the music maker and pinned it back up so the stuffing would not come out during cleaning. I soaked him in Oxyclean for several hours then Don tossed him into a load of clothes he was washing late last night.

When I awoke this morning and made my way into the kitchen to warm a bottle for Abi, there he was. Don had laid Seymour on the granite kitchen island. He was bright and clean and green once more. Just a while ago, I sewed his music maker back into his striped belly and hung him up on the activity gym.

He's dangling there now. Waiting for Abi to notice him and fall in love. Just like the rest of the family has. I'm so glad to see our little friend. And so happy that he will be a part of Abi's childhood like he was for Andrew.

Autumn On Our Street

I took these today while everyone else was resting. I wish it had been sunny instead of overcast, but the colors are still amazing. Click to enlarge if you like.

Cooking/Cleaning Co-op

I'm so excited!

My good friend, C, cooked up a great idea. Since we already spend so much time together for playdates we are going to put it to good use and start cooking and cleaning for each of our families. We get together with another friend, E, several times a week as it is since none of us have jobs outside the home, so we are planning to make 2 of those days in our homes. The children will still play. We will still have coffee and chat. But while we visit, we can be working.

On one of the days we will do meal plans and some light cleaning or laundry for that day's host. The second day we gather, we'll cook. Because we don't work outside the home, we can move the days around as needed between appointments and obligations as our lives require. We have picked out 4 recipes for this coming Monday. I'm so eager to try this! The kids will play, we will tend to babies and cook. Hopefully when we all go home that afternoon we'll be taking 4 meals home for each of our 3 families.

If it works we hope to share the idea with our playgroup so others can hook up in their own groups of 2-3 and do the same. It will be a benefit to our entire families. The kids get playtime, the moms get mental health time with friends and the daddies get full bellies! Hahaha!

I'll report back after Monday's trial run.

The Faces of Abigayle

Sweet Patricia - Calling For Prayers

Me and Patricia in 2004
during a trip to Philadelphia



One of my girlfriends has just been diagnosed with cancer. It seems the walls are falling down around me some days. Arrrgh! I could just swear. My mom, and now one of my strongest and dearest girlfriends has been diagnosed with kidney cancer. She had an ultrasound yesterday because of some pain in her back. It showed a mass so they did a CT. She has a cancerous 8cm tumor in one of her kidneys.

Patricia and I met online when we were pregnant in 2002. She has a 3 year old, Ava, and a 4 year old, Leo. Can you imagine facing cancer treatments with two preschoolers? Mind boggling. I've met her in person twice, spending girls weekends together with other girls who have October '02 babies. She is a tremendous source of strength for me. I only pray I can return the favor to her now.

No prognosis yet, she'll have lots of diagnostics going on over the next week. We would appreciate your prayers!

2nd chemo treatment today

Mom is in Birmingham today getting her second chemo treatment. She's feeling much better going into this one, 6 weeks post surgery, having had more time to recover. And she knows more what to expect, so I think she's feeling positive about what is to come over the next 5 days or so.

Ahhh... I'm not the only one who had a haircut this week. Mom's hair began coming out this weekend so she had dad shave it off on Monday. She decided she didn't want to deal with waiting for it to come out little by little, or deal with the mess. They went out for bloodwork yesterday and she wore a baseball cap with a sash tied on the side. She said she was styling! Hehee!

Qcumber

Andrew came down the stairs the other day and said, "daddy, cucumber starts wiff Q!" We both smiled and Don said, "sounds like it!" Of course it doesn't, but he's starting to pay attention and we need to encourage his interest in reading.

Today he said, "mom, the number 8 starts wiff A!" Again, it surely sounds like it. So I said, "great, buddy!"

Its a wonder any of us ever learn to read and write the English language, isn't it?