Wednesday, December 20, 2006

A different kind of holiday

Its been a while since I updated on my mom. Sadly, once she got over (if you can really call it that) the pneumonia episode and started the maintenance chemo, we soon learned that the cancer had taken a radical turn. The final stages were on the way. Less than a month ago we were told that her CA125 numbers had seriously jumped, more than quadrupled, actually. The oncologist didn't want to give a prognosis, but since mom and dad asked, he said his best guess is that she'd have about 3 months.

Mom is still hanging on at home, but the day to day care has gotten tougher. I jetted down last weekend and spent 4 full and treasured days with her. Since that time she has been faced with new struggles daily. Its sobering for me to consider how she was just 1 week ago while I was there, and compare it with what my dad is sharing with me now.

She is fighting, he believes, to make it through Christmas at home. And then he thinks she will be ready to go on to be with our Lord. No one can really know, only God, when her name on the Roll will be called. But she is ready. And has been a glorious testimony to peace... the peace that only comes from above. She has been strong and steady and sure through every step of this trial. She is focused on the prize, on the promise. I am so proud of her.

We ask that you pray for mercy and peace for my mother. I ask that you pray for rest for my brain, as I'm burdened with thoughts about how the next few weeks will play out with holiday travels, Santa for my kiddos, and what will happen with my mom in the mix. But surely... I can cope with the details, if she can cope with what the Lord has given her. She is amazing. She is a blessing. She is my hero.

The Battle Is Not Ours

The battle is not ours
We look to God above
For he will guide us safely through
and guard us with his love

I will not be afraid
I will not run and hide
For there is nothing I can't face
when God is at my side
No, there is nothing I can't face
when God is at my side

The battle is not ours
We look to God above
For he will guide us safely through
and guard us with his love ~

Friday, December 01, 2006


You know, I am just enjoying my knitting circle so much. Last night as we sat around the tables at Barnes & Noble one of the girls spontaneously spouted out, "I love you guys. Did I say that before?" It was so dear. And I think the majority of us feel the same way.

Sitting around that table are women of all ages, backgrounds, walks of life, stages of womanhood. But we all leave our own little worlds for a few hours each week to come together and share something we love. We appreciate each other for the things we have in common and the things we don't.

I'm fairly certain that if I'd met some of them under different circumstances, we'd not have clicked. Some of us are just that different. But the thing we all hold so valuable, time spent knitting things for those we love, brings us together and builds our friendships. Its just amazing. I'm so thankful to be a part of it.

He's just a regular guy!

We were at the mall yesterday and stopped by so Andrew could sit on Santa's lap and see him for the first time this holiday season. Andrew had stars in his eyes. This age, 4, is such a fantastic age for Santa... they really grasp the "magic" of it all.

While Andrew was on his lap rattling off his list, Santa did a little discrete yawn behind his white glove and I said, "Andrew I think Santa needs a nap." Santa said, "yes, I just had a yummy lunch, now I'd like to lay down and rest a while. Ho ho ho!!" (this was a great Santa). Andrew screwed his face around as he processed that. As we walked away, he asked me, "mom, why does Santa have lunch like we do?" I told him Santa was a regular person, just like us, who has a special job at Christmas time. His eyebrows raised up and his eyes got as big as saucers... he didn't say a word as we walked on. But I saw the light go on. It was so wonderful watching him take it all in.